Dear Parents - Welcome to Parent Talk!

If you are like my husband and I, we love our kids so much, we are so thankful for them and we want so much to be great parents. None of us is perfect, but we want to know what we can do to make a positive impact on our children’s lives. We want them to grow up loving God, being confident, making good choices and being happy

Here on parent talk we are going to share some information that we have discovered or give a word of encouragement as we all could use that in our journey to raise Godly kids.

In Gary Smalley’s book “The Key To Your Child’s Heart,” he shares some ways that we can offend our children. Through all of his counseling and seminars he has come up with things that children have said about how their parents have offended them.  Offending our children is a big deal. Ultimately if we want to be the most influential people in our children’ s lives then we have to work at understanding, listening and being able to communicate. This all begins by having your child’s heart and mind open to what you have to say.

Here are some things to be sensitive to, from a child’s perspective, which might cause a wall to be built between you:

1. Lacking interest in things that are special to me
2. Breaking promises
3. Criticizing unjustly
4. Allowing my brother or sister to put me down
5. Misunderstanding my motives
6. Speaking carelessly
7. Punishing me for something for which I have already been punished
8. Telling me that my opinions don’t really matter
9. Giving me the feeling that they never make mistakes
10. Not being gentle when pointing out my weaknesses or blind spots
11. Lecturing me and not understanding when all I need is some support
12. Never telling me “I love you.” Never showing me physical affection
13. Being insensitive, rough, and breaking promises
14. Being thoughtless
15. Not spending time together
16. Being insensitive to my trials
17. Speaking harsh words
18. Being inconsistent
19. Being taken for granted
20. Being told how to do something that I was doing on my own
21. Nagging me
22. Bossing me
23. Feeling unnoticed or unappreciated
24. Being ignored
25. Not being considered a thinking and feeling person
26. Being too busy to care for me and listen to me
27. Dismissing my needs as unimportant, especially when their work or hobby is more important
28. Bringing up old mistake from the past to deal with present problems
29. Teasing excessively
30. Not noticing my accomplishments
31. Making tactless comments
32. Liking me only for my physical looks or abilities, instead of what is inside me
33. Not being praised and appreciated
34. Being built up and then let down’
35. Getting my hopes up to do something as a family and then not following through
36. Being corrected without being reminded that they love me
37. Being disciplined in harshness and anger
38. Not reasoning with me and never giving me an explanation of why I’m being disciplined
39. Misusing brute force
40. React to me in the opposite way I think a Christian should treat me
41. Raising their voices to each other
42. Not being interested in who I am
43. Cutting down something I am doing or someone I am with as being dumb or stupid
44. Using foul language when they are upset with me
45. Saying “no” without giving a reason
46. Being impatient which often comes across as rudeness.
47. Being distracted when I really have something to say.
48. Comparing me to other kids and saying how wonderful they are.
49. Seeing them do the very things they tell me not to do.
50. Ignoring me when I need advice because they are too busy.
51. Seeing my mom and dad trying to get revenge against each other.
52. Not having enough time for me.
53. Seeing my parents spend a lot of money on their own things but when I want something they say they don’t have enough money.
54. Making me feel like I didn’t try when I really did.
55. Insulting me in front of others.